


a single character

by nevereverever



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (Ish) - Freeform, Arguments, Crying, Gen, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Love, Swearing, glamour springs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22607998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevereverever/pseuds/nevereverever
Summary: You know you should have brought someone with you. It’s not like your mission is dangerous. Very few things can be dangerous to a wizard like you. It takes dragons or a big fuck off tarrasque or a world-ending Hunger. Or maybe- just maybe- a jilted ex-lover who killed 40 people in an attempt to poison you and ruin your life.orTaako reckons with his past and his present
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), past Taako/Sazed
Comments: 5
Kudos: 116





	a single character

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again TAZ-fandom. I know at the rate the internet moves through content TAZ Balance is very old but like oh man it's such good content and there's so much for Angst. Enjoy <3

You know you should have brought someone with you. It’s not like your mission is dangerous. Very few things can be dangerous to a wizard like you. It takes dragons or a big fuck off tarrasque or a world-ending Hunger. Or- just maybe- a jilted ex-lover who killed 40 people in an attempt to poison you and ruin your life.

You stand in front of the big memorial the town built in the middle of the square and think about how different it might have felt if you’d brought Mags and Merle, or your sister. The boys would be making jokes to make the air feel light again. Lup would hold your hand and make you feel whole in a way that you never felt with him. 

As of now, it feels kind of awful. It’s bright out and the sun beats down on your shoulders.

The jailhouse is just a few steps away. It’s built of wood and painted bright white. Something about it hurts your eyes. You tip down the brim of your hat and walk through the jailhouse door. It creaks as it swings open.

There’s only one person in jail in Glamour Springs, at least for more than the night it takes people who partied too hard to sober up. There’s only one person in the small jail cell opposite the doors. You look up and catch his eyes. He looks different. There are dark circles under his eyes, a long scar across his forehead, exhaustion written in the lines of his body. Back then, he’d been your closest friend.

Something deep in your brain spits back ‘only because you’d forgotten your family,’ but you push it aside. Different can of worms.

He scrambles out of his seat and to his knees, mumbling something that sounds like a melodramatic apology. It’s pathetic. 

“Shut up,” you snap at him, your voice low and warning.

“Taako. I’m so sorry. I misse--'' You cast Silence so he can’t even think about finishing that sentence. He goes still once his words go quiet in his throat. There is betrayal on his face.

“Here’s what I don’t get. You try to poison me, kill 40 people. That’s fucking heinous right out the gate, my man. And then you turn yourself in 12 years later. It took me becoming an interplanar hero for you to grow some balls, get a conscience?” He motions to his mouth and you let the spell dissipate. 

“You didn’t turn yourself in either,” he says as he looks you directly in the eyes. It’s a look that you remember deep in your gut and it makes you want to fucking vomit.

“Well, I’m an idiot and a shitty person. Hold yourself to a higher standard.” He has the gall to laugh and you could kill him right then and there. 

“You’re just like I remember.” He slumps back against the wall. “I’m sorry, Taako, I really am. I’ve apologized to the people here, some of them forgive me, others don’t. I think about it every day.” You breathe out a sigh and rub at your eyes.

“Sometimes an apology isn’t enough.” You scuff the floor with the heel of your boot.

“It’s all I can give. If they don’t accept it, I can’t do anything about it. That’s just...” he trails off and you are glad you don’t have to hear him try to justify it to himself. Find someone else to blame.

“You took-” He cuts you off.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” he snaps, his face pinched. Rage rumbles inside of you. With him in front of you, you’re not sure why you came. You think about family dinner last weekend, and then of the stone monument outside the doors of the jail.

“You don’t know. You really don’t.” You pause, take a deep breath. You think about one of the kids who’d been poisoned that night and maybe it’s just your brain playing tricks, but in your memory, he looks just like Ango.

“Y’know, I have a kid now. He’s the fuckin best. He’s 11 years old and smarter than me. He’s an annoying magical dweeb but I- I love him. And if anyone tried to take him from me I’d kill a god if I had to.” 

“Without even caring,” you snarl, “you took people’s family. I can’t even imagine-- The best thing they ever had you stole from them. For what? To spite me? There’s no apology for killing somebody’s kid.” You stop yourself, hear the blood rushing in your ears. 

“You think I didn’t care? You think I haven’t mourned what was lost?” he replies, standing to his full height. He’s bigger than you, taller, and in days past you might have been afraid. But you are the raddest wizard to have ever lived. Furthermore, fuck him.

“Yes! I think if you had a heart or a soul then you would have just stabbed me and gotten it over with.” The words fall from your mouth before you process them and you’re knocked back by your own honesty. You’re both quiet for a moment. He sits back down in the single, wooden chair in his cell and you take another deep breath.

“What’s his name?” He asks after a while. You look up.

“Excuse me?”

“Your kid, what’s his name?” You have lived a long life, full of betrayal and death and pain. But nothing quite compares to the anger you feel when you hear those words come out of his mouth. You feel tears in your eyes but you try to blink them away.

“No. Nope. You do not get to ask that. You don’t get to ask about the life I built after you. After this place. I don’t know why I came here. This was a mistake.” You wipe away the tears in the corners of your eyes. 

You look at him as he opens his mouth to say something but does not make a sound. You look at the scar on his forehead and do not wonder how he got it because this man is nothing. Less than nothing. 

“So self-righteous. Oh Taako, you really haven’t changed a bit.” His voice is sharp and biting, cuts like the edge of a paring knife, and it’s the last straw. 

“Okay, fuck you. I’m leaving. Glad to know that you’re still fucked up. If the families forgive you, they’re better people than I am. But know that I will never, ever think of you as anything but a monster.” You turn on your heel and walk towards the door.

“You’re not blameless, Taako,” he yells after you, “You gave them the food. You shut me out. If I’m a monster, so are you!” You flinch, but he doesn’t see it. 

“I know,” you throw the words over your shoulder. 

The door creaks as it closes and you step into the bright sunshine again. You take a step away from the threshold and stumble. Nausea overcomes you and you heave into a nearby trash can. It was a mistake, all of it was a mistake and you shouldn’t have come alone. You reach around in your bag until your hand closes around your Stone of Farspeech. You tune it to the first channel you think of and wait.

“Taako?” Lup’s voice crackles out and you thank gods for that.

“Hey. Can you come get me? I need-” She cuts you off.

“Of course. I just finished up a bounty, so it’s no biggie. Where?” You hear paper shuffling and her footsteps on the other end of the line. 

“Glamour Springs.” Another wave of nausea hits you like a brick wall and you let out a pathetic whimper. 

“Oh, you dumbass.” The line goes static, and almost immediately you hear the telltale ripping sound of the reapers’ portals. Then there are hands around your waist and hair in your face and ‘shh, it’s okay, I’m gonna get you home and then we’ll talk, okay?’ You nod into her shoulder and she shuffles you both through the portal and into her living room.

Once you’re settled on the couch with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and the only tea on the blasted continent that almost tastes like home, Lup asks the question. 

“Why’d you go? You know it wasn’t your fault, the chalice said that Krav said that, the bastard even confessed.” She’s sitting on the ground with her head leaned up against your knee. She looks tired and you feel awful that she’s dealing with your bullshit.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. The town is recovered and the people there don’t hate me because he’s facing the consequences of our actions. It was a mistake to go back.” She turns to make eye contact with you.

“It wasn’t your actions.” Her tone is firm and her jaw is set. 

“I fed them the food. And I ran away. That’s not nothing.” You put down your mug and start fiddling with your sister’s hair. It’s longer than yours right now, so you start braiding, and the familiar motions are calming for both of you.

“So, you went to see him? Don’t lie to me, I’ll know.” You undo the braid and start another. You want to deny it, say that you went back to pay your respects, but you both know that you’re not that good of a person.

“Yeah,” you relent, “for proof.”

“Of what?”

“That I’m better now. I’ve got my family back, Krav, Ango. I saw him and I wasn’t anything but angry. If I’d- It was a mistake.” The silence sits heavy in the air but it’s fine because you don’t want to talk about it anymore. She lets out an unexpected peal of laughter.

“What?” You ask, gently tugging at the braid. You tie it up while she finishes her fuckin giggle fit. “What’s so funny, dingus?” 

“You know what a good spell for us would be?” She responds with a snort. She climbs onto the couch with you and rests her head on your shoulder.

“Fuckin all of them, Lu. What are you, like level 25?” 

“Traumaturgy.” It’s such a dumb joke. It’s the dumbest joke. You start to laugh, then you start to cry, then you keep doing both that until your sides hurt. 

“That shit’s a cantrip babey,” you respond. You give her a high five because Maggie rubbed off on you and also holy shit what a dumb joke. There’s a knock on the door. You wipe the tears from your eyes and look to your sister.

“Shit! It’s Angus - I told him he could chill here this weekend because you were going to be out of town. Shit- umm… we could pawn him off-” You stop her by putting your hand over her mouth and you only relent when she licks your palm.

“It’s fine. Come in, Agnes!” You call loud enough for him to hear outside the door. 

“Taako? Not to be rude, sir, but this is not your house.” Of course, the kid can tell your voices apart from 2 rooms away. Of course. He rounds the corner to see you and Lup, tear-stained and tangled up on the couch. You see the flicker of worry in his eyes and --- fuck.

Really the whole experience of getting to know the kid had been just a series of --- fuck. You wish he didn’t have to handle any of this, but you’re also certain that he can. Your magic boy.

“Hey, pumpkin. I’m prolly never gonna say this again, so treasure this moment while it lasts. Can I have a hug?” You hold out your arms and he all but dives into them. He’s warm and solid and you hold him tighter than you’d care to admit. Lup makes a strangled 'aww' noise and you elbow her as much as holding your kid will allow.

“Did you- was your trip to Glamour Springs? Are you alright?” He asks the question quietly into the crook of your neck.

“Good detective work, kiddo,” you mumble, “I’m fine. Also, have like two seconds of chill, my man.” He relaxes in your arms. His arms wrap around your neck and for a moment you’re certain that you deserve this.

After all, Angus is a smart kid, knows a monster when he sees one.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all liked that. It was very fun to write. Drop me a comment if it so moves you.


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